oh god, it was marvelous. on my way home from a late eve of work, i decided to stop at "
the goodwill" to browse for a holiday sweater. last year i busted up our office's first annual ugly holiday sweater contest. i won! what a rockstar, right? i'm sure they're glad they hired me. so i can't wear the same one this year, of course. buuuut, mike did already ask me to forgo participation this year due to
the economy and the irrelevance to our well-being that this entire shenanigan poses. you know, basically, it's extravagant, even though the sweater i won with last year cost less than 5 bones. and i did win a really cool traveling sweater trophy. and it did bring some glimmer of joy to my otherwise stale 40-hour gig that week. so clearly, i am not in agreement with mike on forgoing the purchase of a 2008 holiday sweater. and this is why i ended up at "the goodwill."
somehow, the holiday sweater was the last item i picked up, after filling a
shopping cart with other crap. but, for $3.99, done and done!
more excitingly, i began stumbling across some of the most ugly clothing creations ever made. one after another. no surprise, i'm sure. it's goodwill. a thrift shop. of course there's all kinds of ugly crap. but i suddenly realized how exciting ugly stuff is to me. how near and dear the ugly is to my heart. i started out by trying to quell the passion building up inside me, by passing these things by, but something inside me would not allow this. my heart began racing. adrenaline pumped through my arms and legs. soon, i was returning to the aisles i had previously passed through, grabbing all the ugly things that seemed to be calling my name. i don't think i knew at this point exactly what i intended to do with all these ugly things. i simply knew they'd come in handy someday.
sweater parties,
80's parties, perhaps this year's
christmas card photo? i'd find an excuse to don these beauties, er, uglies, later. then i began grabbing things that were not my size. it somehow didn't matter. logic vanished under a cloud of ugly. beautiful, beautiful ugly.
soon enough, i had devised a plan for all that ugly in my cart...i would sell it...online...at bargain prices. who doesn't want to be intentionally ugly sometimes? some things are so ugly they're beautiful. so ugly they're rad. so ugly they're ugly and should only be worn to parody a certain time period or culture. like the
bill cosby sweater. or the
stonewashed era.
so i found it. my niche. my creative outlet and a way that i can shop cheaply and guilt-free, as long as i sell it. and make people happy. and funny. and ug-styley. i looove thrift shopping. watch for me online soon. i've got about a dozen pieces to get started with (see below). sweaters and jumpsuits and retro-shoes galore!
but first, the biggest hurdle in my brand new business plan; discussing with the hub. hmmm. he could see this as a serious venture or just write it off as an erratic attempt to get his okay to buy more crap that makes no sense in my life. well, i was nervous, but once i told him, or really, *showed* him, he was excited, too! i should have known - he's the king of ugly. in fact, he was wearing, by chance, brown tapered jeans as i was telling him the idea. i need to sell those while i'm at it, and fast.
(relevant photo narrative below)
work holiday sweater contest '07. i made it myself. used vest and home-made wall decor from st. vinnies. some thread to attach. viola! this was the brilliance of my coworker toni. she made it a sweater! basking in my glory in the corner office. graciously congratulating the runner up. "better luck next time, LAME-O!"
*******okay...now onto my new merch!*******
"cosby 1" "80's stripe" "old person sandals" "paisley tie" "orange ladies" "tupperware pouch" "stonewashed jumpsuit" - sorry, horrible photo "puzzled" "ladies' saddle style" "western blouse" Labels: avenues ugly holiday sweater extravaganza, clothing, competition, contains photo, fashion, retro, sarcasm and/or wit, trophy, ugly, work
1. The photo captions are genius. The puzzled one? You NEED to write a book, or at least get a syndicated column in some kind of publication. Your wordplay is brilliant.
2. Ugly glasses make me crazy. Those are truly ugly. These clothes are a lovely mix of ugly, yet acceptable, for some reason. Good work.
3. That was REALLY nice of you to thank the loser so graciously. It's hard being this awesome...
4. Mike and you and both great models.
5. Remind me to tell you sometime about uglo face photos. The things that faces are able to do...unbelievable.
6. You rule and I'm forwarding your blog to a billion people right now.
sarah - - thanks for reading my dorky blog! that takes a little pressure off reem who was formerly my only reader.